Perhaps the word which explicitly stands out when reading this week’s Gospel is the word “hate”. The original Greek word is μισεω (mīséō) – and its meanings range from ‘disfavour’ to ‘detest’ to ‘disregard’. To better understand the meaning of this word as Jesus is using it here, we must make reference to the context. This week’s Gospel features Jesus giving advice to his disciples. The question which He is answering is: “what does it mean to be a disciple?”. What does it mean for us to be true disciples of Christ? Must we “hate” our loved ones to be so? Not quite. Indeed, it would be highly contradictory for Jesus to beseech us to, on the one hand, “love” each other, and at the same time “hate” each other!
At the end of this passage, Jesus employs a parable, speaking of those who “begin to build but [who do] not have the resources to finish”. Here, Jesus has in mind persons who may follow him (and possibly also those who don’t) whose life is not authentic. Its foundations are not strong enough – meaning, they are not rooted in God. The foundations may not be strong enough for several reasons – but here Jesus specifically mentions a certain type of behaviour. This is a behaviour which all of us are by nature very prone to, yet which often comes in the way between us and God’s plan for us (and hence our flourishing). This behaviour is our “attachment” to things. The German mystic, philosopher, and theologian Meister Eckhart dedicated much time to exploring the relationship between “attachment” and “detachment”. He is iconically known for writing that: “all that God asks you most pressingly is to go out of yourself – and let God be God in you”. This is exactly what Christ means when he tells us: “if anyone comes to me without hating his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple”. To be disciples, as Eckhart notes, we need to “go out of ourselves”. To go out of ourselves means to not let anything come in between us and God’s will for us – because nothing is more valuable than what God wills – not our loved ones, not even our own life.
Perhaps all this may sound strangely tyrannical and overbearing. Why would God, who is love itself, ask us to prefer Him over our fellow human beings? Doesn’t Jesus tell us, after all, that to love others is to love Him?
It is crucial for us to know that God doesn’t ask us to love Him more than others in a competitive manner. God is love itself, and love is inclusive, not exclusive. It is not “either-or”, but “both-and”. Moreover, God doesn’t need our love – it is us who need to love Him. Why? The reason why God asks us to love Him above all, is so that we will be able to love others (and ourselves) with a divine love (with a perfect love). This is because, we can only love others with God’s own love, if we are “one with God”. In other words, we can only love other people with God’s love, if we have God’s love within us. How can we have God’s love within us, if there are things which are in the way between us and God? How can I be one with God, if I am more attached to my life than I am to God? How can I be one with God, if I am attached to money, my career, my ambitions, my reputation, more than I am attached to God – who is love? To love something – anything – more than God, is to idolise. It is to enslave myself to something which is temporal and which, one day, will falter. Is this worth it? Indeed, is it worth it to acquire all the world and lose one’s own soul in the process?
The word “worship” traces its roots to the word “worth” – we worship what is truly “worth” worshipping. Is anything more valuable and worth worshipping than He who created everything, including our own selves? And how beautiful it is to realise, in the end, that to love God without attachments is to love others with the purest of loves – God’s own!
“Perfect love is not stratified by more (plus) or less (minus), degree or order, since it is One. Thus, a person who loves God more than a fellow human being acts in a good, but not perfect way. Perfect love is God, through whom we love” – Meister Eckhart